The important thing is to keep your intention clear.
I’ve been thinking about my intention lately; defining and refining to the essence as is the way of the Virgo-born. My intention at this point in my life is quite clear to me, and it is two-fold. A deep and simple way of living is emerging for me. Refining even my possessions to create a home filled with meaning rather than superfluous objects. The other aspect is to live in love.
So when faced recently with the loss of something I love deeply, I was left looking at my situation and at the choices that lay before me. How do you maintain your path when you’re in the throes of emotion that sweep you up like black waves in the midnight ocean and push you under into the airless dark? How do you simplify the experience rather than soak it with the story details that are the reflexive response of escapism?
Simplify. Look deeper.
Not so much. But I expect it will become manageable after this initial stumbling effort.
I asked myself the critical question in all things: What is true? The answer of course was that love is. Love is true. When I looked at circumstances from this angle, things were a little different. The ache of loss started to morph a bit. There was still loss. Still something missed. Still something longed for. But that third one, the longing, didn’t resonate as clearly with love as the other two. Longing is wanting to hold on; wanting to keep something for myself. Love doesn’t do that. Humans do that for their own needs – to keep safety, comfort, perceived happiness. Love only loves. Love allows.
The grief of loss is real. And in order to properly experience it and let it complete, you have to feel it in it’s entirety. This can take years or it can take minutes. I think the difference is in how far along you are in the path to experiencing pure love rather than attempting love via human maneuvering. I am much much slower than minutes. I have been in the years category. I’m hoping for evidence of evolution in this instance.
But nonetheless, the truth is I love, and I feel deep sorrow from an experience. How do I simply love authentically while I experience this grief process? Erase my stories about why or what happened. Clinging is not love. Wanting is not even love. Love accepts. Love loves. Love makes room for all that is. In this case: letting go.
The beloved is loved. Period. The nature of the experience has changed. The grief will finish itself out. The rest will remain.
I hope I remember this tomorrow.